All day Saturday we hustled like crazy to get stuff into storage. When we got to the unit we had to pile things up first, I had not been able to pile things up in the unit to make space for stuff. I had lots of jobs to do during the packing process including taking care of children and there were never days where I could just go to the storage unit (30 minutes away), to rearrange or make room for more stuff. So we had to pile and make room for about 30-40 minutes prior to unloading the truck. During all this I got sick, we had eaten some food at a local restaurant nearby, apparently something in their dish hit me pretty hard and I had gotten sick suddenly, so we were down a person. We were hustling cause it was about 6:30/7pm when we got to the unit after dinner but the storage place closed at 9pm so we really didn't have a lot of time to unload. But we had to unload it all on Saturday night because Sunday was moving day. With one person down they all got it done! We were of course all gross, we needed a shower, and a very long break.
We all stayed up pretty late, I had some last minute packing to do. We all had showers and hung out for a while in our respective spaces. Then went to bed about midnight/1am.
Next morning, I woke up and my partner was already outside loading the dryer and washing machine into the truck. At first I was annoyed, and told him that I was doing one last wash before we left. He told me we couldn't wait for that because the heavy stuff had to be loaded first. There went my plans to get the clothes and rags I needed dry for the day. That was just one of many things that would irritate me that day. For the rest of the morning, he was frustrated, we needed to pack a whole house up and get out in time for daylight hours to get to our stuff to the next destination while it was still light out. He was frustrated because the free help had slept in passed 10am. We didn't have that kind of time to kill. In all honesty tho, they too were exhausted and needed the rest to carry on through the day, and it was going to be a long one. When they woke up it took a while for them to get started but they were right back in the game when it was time. They pulled their weight for sure, they were very helpful and got a lot loaded onto the truck, mostly the heavy stuff I couldn't do, like bureaus, beds, the couch, the table, the chairs, etc. There was a lot more to pack than we thought and it took all day. While that was going on, I had to clean room by room, sweeping under beds, for the last walkthrough before closing.
During all this packing and cleaning, I went out to the truck to ask my partner a question and he belittled me in front of my sister-in-law, and my neighbor who was next door polishing his boat. I felt super upset and embarrassed. I ran into the house sobbing and closed the bathroom door. Shortly after, my sister-in-law came in to console me. She is good at consoling people when they are feeling hurt. She told me she had been through enough moves and crazy stuff to know when someone needed consoling. That helped me to get back to it. About 10 minutes later my partner came in and we discussed why he was feeling frustrated and that he was sorry for taking it out on me, he explained this is a stressful day and that we should both be on the same page. I stood up for myself and said "I don't deserve to be treated that way." He agreed.
This was the first time I truly took control of my feelings in a long while. We had had disagreements before of course, every couple does, but we avoided confrontation so we wouldn't have to feel the pressure on ourselves from bringing stuff up - this is not how to do it. I would frequently just compromise my feelings to avoid the argument, however it was building up inside ready to blow.
Today I just said it like it was - I don't deserve to be treated this way! Man, it felt good. I had been on my own for a month and I had done a lot of work to prep this home for moving. I felt compelled to just say it! When I did, he agreed and apologized, instead of having to compromise on our feelings again, it was great!
Three hours later we had gotten the last of it packed up, except for the kitchen, which no one had touched because people were still making coffee or microwaving items. So, my partner went into the kitchen and started grabbing stuff off the counters and stuffing them in trash bags to take with us. He threw random stuff together with dirty rags for buffering and packed it all up. He found a place on the truck and we stuffed it in. Not ideal, but worked at the time.
Next we had to get the cats. The cat carriers were already out and open for the cats to get used to them all day. One of our cats loved the carrier and couldn't wait to get in and go on a trip. The other 3 were difficult to get in. This time though there was no place to hide under. We just had to corner the cats and get them into the carriers. We finally got them in with scratches on our arm. We loaded the cats into my already packed car. Then it was time to round up our son, who had been playing next door with the neighbors. We had to chase him around the neighbor's yard to get him into the car. He was crying, the kids next door were crying too. We finally rounded him up and put him in the car. My partner was so upset for our son, he said it was a hard thing to have to do, take him away from his friends. Moving is surely hard, for everyone involved, we knew that going into this, we didn't want to have to say goodbye but the location we were at was sucking our money away and we needed to get out. We just never imagined just how hard it would be for our son to say goodbye to his friends. He grew up in this house and he grew up from age 2 to 7 with the next door neighbors, they were his best friends.
Once everyone was in the car and my son was told to keep the kitties calm during the ride, it was time to caravan to our new home. We waved our goodbyes to the neighbors and hit the road. Saying goodbye to our street, our favorite places, and our town.
We all stayed up pretty late, I had some last minute packing to do. We all had showers and hung out for a while in our respective spaces. Then went to bed about midnight/1am.
Next morning, I woke up and my partner was already outside loading the dryer and washing machine into the truck. At first I was annoyed, and told him that I was doing one last wash before we left. He told me we couldn't wait for that because the heavy stuff had to be loaded first. There went my plans to get the clothes and rags I needed dry for the day. That was just one of many things that would irritate me that day. For the rest of the morning, he was frustrated, we needed to pack a whole house up and get out in time for daylight hours to get to our stuff to the next destination while it was still light out. He was frustrated because the free help had slept in passed 10am. We didn't have that kind of time to kill. In all honesty tho, they too were exhausted and needed the rest to carry on through the day, and it was going to be a long one. When they woke up it took a while for them to get started but they were right back in the game when it was time. They pulled their weight for sure, they were very helpful and got a lot loaded onto the truck, mostly the heavy stuff I couldn't do, like bureaus, beds, the couch, the table, the chairs, etc. There was a lot more to pack than we thought and it took all day. While that was going on, I had to clean room by room, sweeping under beds, for the last walkthrough before closing.
During all this packing and cleaning, I went out to the truck to ask my partner a question and he belittled me in front of my sister-in-law, and my neighbor who was next door polishing his boat. I felt super upset and embarrassed. I ran into the house sobbing and closed the bathroom door. Shortly after, my sister-in-law came in to console me. She is good at consoling people when they are feeling hurt. She told me she had been through enough moves and crazy stuff to know when someone needed consoling. That helped me to get back to it. About 10 minutes later my partner came in and we discussed why he was feeling frustrated and that he was sorry for taking it out on me, he explained this is a stressful day and that we should both be on the same page. I stood up for myself and said "I don't deserve to be treated that way." He agreed.
This was the first time I truly took control of my feelings in a long while. We had had disagreements before of course, every couple does, but we avoided confrontation so we wouldn't have to feel the pressure on ourselves from bringing stuff up - this is not how to do it. I would frequently just compromise my feelings to avoid the argument, however it was building up inside ready to blow.
Today I just said it like it was - I don't deserve to be treated this way! Man, it felt good. I had been on my own for a month and I had done a lot of work to prep this home for moving. I felt compelled to just say it! When I did, he agreed and apologized, instead of having to compromise on our feelings again, it was great!
Three hours later we had gotten the last of it packed up, except for the kitchen, which no one had touched because people were still making coffee or microwaving items. So, my partner went into the kitchen and started grabbing stuff off the counters and stuffing them in trash bags to take with us. He threw random stuff together with dirty rags for buffering and packed it all up. He found a place on the truck and we stuffed it in. Not ideal, but worked at the time.
Next we had to get the cats. The cat carriers were already out and open for the cats to get used to them all day. One of our cats loved the carrier and couldn't wait to get in and go on a trip. The other 3 were difficult to get in. This time though there was no place to hide under. We just had to corner the cats and get them into the carriers. We finally got them in with scratches on our arm. We loaded the cats into my already packed car. Then it was time to round up our son, who had been playing next door with the neighbors. We had to chase him around the neighbor's yard to get him into the car. He was crying, the kids next door were crying too. We finally rounded him up and put him in the car. My partner was so upset for our son, he said it was a hard thing to have to do, take him away from his friends. Moving is surely hard, for everyone involved, we knew that going into this, we didn't want to have to say goodbye but the location we were at was sucking our money away and we needed to get out. We just never imagined just how hard it would be for our son to say goodbye to his friends. He grew up in this house and he grew up from age 2 to 7 with the next door neighbors, they were his best friends.
Once everyone was in the car and my son was told to keep the kitties calm during the ride, it was time to caravan to our new home. We waved our goodbyes to the neighbors and hit the road. Saying goodbye to our street, our favorite places, and our town.
Comments
Post a Comment